A few of my favorite things to recommend.

Chronic Illness, Caregiving & Relationships

• In Sickness As in Health: Helping Couples Cope with the Complexities of Illness

  Barbara Kivowitz, MSW, LCSW & Roanne Weisman

  A wise, compassionate guide to navigating the emotional and relational weight of illness together without losing your partnership.

• The Invisible Kingdom: Reimagining Chronic Illness

  Meghan O'Rourke

  An evocative, deeply validating look at the reality of autoimmune, post-viral, and invisible illness.

• How to Be Sick: A Buddhist-Inspired Guide for the Chronically Ill and Their Caregivers

  Toni Bernhard

  Gentle, practical tools for finding peace, pacing, and self-compassion when your body changes your life.

• The Spoon Theory

  Christine Miserandino

  The foundational piece that gave chronic illness communities a shared vocabulary for energy limits.

• Dysautonomia International

  A vital non-profit resource for patient advocacy, research, and support in the POTS and dysautonomia community.

People-Pleasing, Boundaries & Caregivers

• Set Boundaries, Find Peace: A Guide to Reclaiming Yourself

  Nedra Glover Tawwab

  Clear, compassionate, and tactical scripts for saying what you mean without guilt.

• The Joy of Saying No: A Simple Plan to Save Your Time, Energy, and Sanity

  Natalie Lue

  Shines a light on the different people-pleasing styles and helps chronic over-givers reclaim their capacity.

• The Dance of Anger: A Woman's Guide to Changing the Patterns of Intimate Relationships

  Harriet Lerner

  The gold standard for understanding how to turn resentment into quiet, steady boundaries instead of over-functioning.

• Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle

  Emily Nagoski & Amelia Nagoski

  Essential reading for over-functioners and caregivers — why you're exhausted, and what actually helps (hint: it's not a bubble bath).

• Codependent No More: How to Stop Controlling Others and Start Caring for Yourself

  Melody Beattie

  A little dated in spots, but still the book so many caregivers recognize themselves in for the first time.

Grief, Sensitivity & Self-Compassion

• It's OK That You're Not OK: Meeting Grief and Loss in a Culture That Doesn't Understand

  Megan Devine

  The best antidote to toxic positivity — a grief book that never rushes you toward a silver lining.

• Self-Compassion: The Proven Power of Being Kind to Yourself

  Kristin Neff, PhD

  The research-backed classic on treating yourself like someone you love — a perfect companion to people-pleasing work.

• The Highly Sensitive Person: How to Thrive When the World Overwhelms You

  Elaine N. Aron, PhD

  Deeply validating for anyone who's been told they're 'too sensitive' — reframes sensitivity as a trait, not a flaw.

Skills You Can Use Between Sessions

• The Happiness Trap: How to Stop Struggling and Start Living

  Russ Harris

  Acceptance and Commitment Therapy made genuinely readable — the closest thing to an ACT session in book form.

• The Dialectical Behavior Therapy Skills Workbook

  Matthew McKay, Jeffrey C. Wood & Jeffrey Brantley

  Practical, step-by-step DBT skills for big emotions, distress tolerance, and relationships — great homework between sessions.

Loving Someone with BPD

• Stop Walking on Eggshells: Taking Your Life Back When Someone You Care About Has Borderline Personality Disorder

  Paul T. Mason & Randi Kreger

  The classic guide for partners and family members — validating your experience while offering real tools for boundaries and communication.

• Loving Someone with Borderline Personality Disorder

  Shari Y. Manning, PhD

  A compassionate, DBT-informed approach to staying connected without losing yourself, written by a therapist who truly gets both sides.

• The Borderline Personality Disorder Survival Guide

  Alexander L. Chapman & Kim L. Gratz

  A clear, research-grounded overview that replaces fear and stigma with understanding — helpful for loved ones and clients alike.

Attachment & Relationship Wounds

• Attached: The New Science of Adult Attachment and How It Can Help You Find — and Keep — Love

  Amir Levine & Rachel Heller

  The accessible introduction to attachment styles that helps so many people finally make sense of their relationship patterns.

• The Power of Attachment: How to Create Deep and Lasting Intimate Relationships

  Diane Poole Heller, PhD

  A warm, somatic approach to healing attachment wounds and building the kind of secure connection we all deserve.

• Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents

  Lindsay C. Gibson, PsyD

  Deeply validating for anyone who grew up caregiving for a parent — and a gentle roadmap for reclaiming your own emotional life.

Nervous System, Trauma & Somatics

• Anchored: How to Befriend Your Nervous System Using Polyvagal Theory

  Deb Dana

  A warm, accessible roadmap to understanding your autonomic nervous system and cultivating safety from within.

• My Grandmother's Hands: Racialized Trauma and the Pathway to Mending Our Hearts and Bodies

  Resmaa Menakem

  A transformative look at how trauma lives in our bodies and how somatic healing shifts generational patterns.

• Trauma and Recovery

  Judith Herman

  A foundational classic on understanding trauma, relational safety, and reclaiming agency.

• The Body Keeps the Score: Brain, Mind, and Body in the Healing of Trauma

  Bessel van der Kolk, MD

  The book clients ask about most — a sweeping look at how trauma lives in the body and the many paths toward healing.

Couples & Connection

• Hold Me Tight: Seven Conversations for a Lifetime of Love

  Dr. Sue Johnson

  Grounded in Emotionally Focused Therapy (EFT), showing couples how to step out of familiar arguments and reconnect.

Immediate & Crisis Support

If you're in immediate danger, call 911 or go to your nearest emergency room. These lines are free, confidential, and open 24/7:

• 988 Suicide & Crisis Lifeline

  Call or text 988

• 988 Lifeline Chat

  988lifeline.org

• Crisis Text Line

  Text HELLO to 741741